How to Stop Bullying at Church

Bullying is a problem among kids. It happens at school...at soccer practice...in the neighborhood...and yes...even at church.

If you have been in children's ministry any length of time, you have probably experienced this.  A child approaches you and says that they are being bullied by another child in the class. 

Many children have experienced bullying at church.  Look at some of these stats from Pew Research. About 35% of parents with children younger than 18 say they are extremely or very worried that their children might be bullied at some point.  Another 39% are somewhat worried that their child will experience bullying.

Boys are more likely to experience physical bullying, while girls are more likely to experience psychological bullying.

Bullying can have harmful and long lasting consequences for children. Besides the physical effects of bullying, children may experience emotional and mental health problems, including depression and anxiety. It can also increase feelings of sadness, loneliness, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, and loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy.

When a child is being bullied at church, you can see the evidence through crying, sadness, and the child saying they are being picked on.  

Bullying obviously has no place in God's house. If you see someone being bullied at church, what should you do?  Here are some practical steps you can take to stop bullying. 

#1 - Find out who is doing the bullying. 

#2 - Pull the bully aside and talk with them one-on-one.  

Approach them with a neutral attitude. You are not attacking the bully, you are just trying to make sure that they know that their behavior is unacceptable.

 #3 - Share what the Bible says about bullying.

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves (Mark 12:31) and to treat others the way we would like to be treated (Luke 6:31).  There is no allowance in the Bible for belittling or abusing someone else. 

#4 - Have clear behavioral "guidelines" that you expect kids to follow during the class or activity.  

Go over these at the beginning of the class or activity time.  Name-calling, teasing, hitting, pushing, and all other forms of bullying are wrong and not acceptable behavior. 

#5 - Involve the parents. 

Both the bully's parents and the victim's parents.  Practice open, direct communication. 

#6 - Respond rather than react. 

Bullies thrive where people are silent or passive. Don't react in anger. Have a plan for how you will deal with bullying.

#7 - Have zero tolerance for bullying. 

Bullying is a sin and should be treated as such.  Tell them to stop. Let them know that type of behavior is unacceptable.

#8 - When it comes to bullying...have these 3 simple rules:

Rule 1: We will not bully others. 

Rule 2: We will help kids who are bullied.

Rule 3: We will include students who are left out.

Church should be a safe place for kids. A place where children can come and feel like they belong.  A place where they will be lifted up instead of put down. A place where they can feel loved instead of left out.  A place where they can feel important instead of marginalized. 

What do you do to stop bullying at church? Share in the comment section below.