What "Did You Have Fun Today" Really Means

Do you know what question is normally asked by parents when they pick up their child from children's ministry?

The question is this...

"Did you have fun today?" 

What do parents mean when they ask their children this question?

Are they asking if their child played, jumped around with excitement, and didn't get into trouble?   

No.  What they really mean when they ask the question is this...

Did you learn anything today that was relevant to your life?  

Did they help you grow spiritually today?

Was it a good experience for you?

Did they connect with you and engage you in learning about God?

If this is the case, then we must be prepared to help kids have "fun" at church.  Here are some ways to find out if kids are having "fun" or not at your church.

Twice a year I meet with a kids' focus group.  This is a group of 8-10 kids that I bring together to ask a series of questions.

The kids range from grades 3-5 and is a mixture of boys and girls. I chose kids who are new and kids who have been attending for years.It's normally on a Wednesday night. We eat together and then spend an hour talking. I ask for their input, feedback, and ideas on how to improve the ministry. I take different parts of the ministry and ask them to rate it using a chart.

Here are a few examples:

Pre-Service Activities

Fun------------ ----------------------------------------Boring

Lessons

Keeps my attention-------------------------Don't Pay Attention

Small Group

Feel loved and cared for-------------------No one notices me

I ask the kids to be brutally honest. What are some ways we can improve their experience at church? What are some things they are struggling with as a kid and need help with? What are some new things they'd like to see in the ministry? What parts of the ministry are boring? What parts of the ministry are they excited about? Do they feel loved and valued? Do they feel connected? Do they have friendships they have established at church? I then take their feedback and ideas back to our team.

We carefully analyze it and then tweak, change, or adjust areas that need to be improved. When a child says something is boring, it means they are not connecting. If you can identify and adjust those areas, your ability to connect with the kids will go to a whole new level. And it all starts by simply asking kids questions and listening to them with an open heart.

Watch for the "look away" during class or service.

Did you know Blues Clues is ranked as one of the most effective children's shows of all times? A big reason is because before they aired an episode, it had been tested and reviewed by a group of kids. If the kids identified a part of the show as boring or seemed to be disengaged, and started looking around instead of looking at the screen, they would go back and adjust that part of the episode before putting it on air.

You can do this as well.  During the service, watch for times when kids get restless or start looking around instead of engaging with the lesson. Learn to tweak those times and you will see kids' experience go from "boring" to "fun."

Know how kids learn best. 

We know that the least effective way to connect with kids is through lecturing.  The talking head is basically the worst way you can teach kids. They are only going to remember about 5% of what you teach them using this method. 

Rather than lecturing kids switch over to helping kids learn through hands-on activities, games, discussions, and interactive teaching.  When you do this, kids will begin having "fun" at church and they will remember what you taught them.  

Here's a challenge. Stand by your exit door this weekend and listen as parents pick up their children. When parents ask their children, "Did you have fun today?" see how they respond.  

Will you see a smile as the child says "yes?"

Will you see a nonchalant "Yeah...it was okay?"

Will you see a frown and hear "It was boring?"

Our target audience is children.

Just remember this...

Childhood has changed. 

Kids are growing up far differently than when we were children. 

We must learn to adapt and adjust how we connect with kids as we teach them. 

Remember...it's about seeing a smile and hearing the words, "Yes...I had a fun today."